In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Futures Past.”

As a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? How close or far are you from that vision?

oh my goodness i was just thinking about this the other day. what would my 11 year old self think of my 29 year old self? ….i should’ve started this post sooner. the heat is getting to me. among other things.

i told ppl i wanted to be a doctor when i grew up because it elicited a strong positive response from people when i said it. i don’t actually know how much i really felt that desire apart from how others saw it in me. and i would go on to say that i wanted to be a brain surgeon because it sounded very prestigious and i liked being thought of as smart, still do.

i have very much been an over achiever in school for most of my life. i enjoy the accolades that accompany good grades and papers well written. some of it came easy to me, up to a point. i remember 3rd grade being particularly easy. but i don’t think schools really teach you what you need to know. i do miss the feeling of an absolute right or wrong, where in real life i live in the grey areas and have learned to enjoy the paradoxes of every day living.

i guess in a way i’m a brain surgeon because i am always trying to understand people and what motivates them, what inspires them. i actually ended up studying psychology in school and continue to be fascinated by the human mind. and what is more profound than being able to experience that moment of connection with people, where your questions are the knife that cuts into a mind, an untold story? i don’t mean that violently but that people have so many layers and it can take a while to get through them all.

anyhow, i think my 11 year old self would be encouraging my exploration onwards. and my need to serve others is still being realized because underlying all my goals is that one purpose. to help. to heal. to encourage.