rusty again. why do i let myself come to this HAHA! I think i’ve already written about this before and yet a whole year has passed already, again. i have a bad habit of catastrophizing my memories of what i’ve done and where i’ve been. but i don’t think that’s entirely correct. i can be dramatic and think that i’ve wasted another year but i’m hoping to grow out of that soon one of these days.

at least i recognize the problem now.

that word year does not mean that much to me. i think it’s annoying. it’s such a short word for what actually happens in that expanse of time. and then again a year is not that long. really.

hmm-i don’t think i have that many different goals for myself this year than i did last year, just the usual-learn a new skill, language, read as many books as i can. spend more time with God, family and maybe meet some new friends. does a life have to be interesting to have value? i work so hard at being interesting but i don’t really care about it at all. but i don’t really work that hard at it because i like to have routine. even tho i enjoy spontaneity.

actually, all i can really think about right now is how i just vacuumed my room with my roommate’s vacuum and when i started it all this cat litter dust came flying off of it. so now i’m wondering how long until the brain cancer sets in. but-silver lining-my carpet now has all those clean lines in now that all the fuzz is gone. i hadn’t vacuumed in over a year.