wonderful-my favorite topic to actively be in denial about. i spend too much of my time worrying about how any given situation might play out-that i’m exhausted trying to plan and accommodate for any eventuality that i end up missing the entire point of living life.

do men do this too? i don’t know. i do know that it’s been one of the hardest habits i’ve had to break. the illusion (or maybe it’s delusion-yep i’m just straight up delusional LOL) that i buy into is that it is within my power to control situations when, in fact, i can only decide how i will react. planning is all fine and dandy i guess- i’ve never been much of a planner though so i don’t actually know. but plans don’t go as planned roughly 99% of the time. so at least i’ve let got of that exercise in futility.

maybe, i like the illusion of control so much because it gives me a sense of safety? of not having to be surprised. i don’t like surprises very much even though i’m a quite spontaneous type of person. at least i like doing things spur of the moment and used to really like going with the flow. i think that’s my natural state but i’ve had to subvert that for so long because of the way work works that i’m having a hard time figuring out who i am anymore outside of my capacity to do things for other people.

ah the process of self rediscovery fraught with existential crises. what a life.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a website or blog at

Up ↑

The Reluctant Retiree

Stories from Garrulous Gwendoline - a baby boomer surviving retirement

The Mad Woman in the Attic

stories of a serial expat and solo traveller

Dreaming. Living. Loving.

"Yes: I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.” - Oscar Wilde

The DAWN Method

A Breakthrough in Dementia Care

The Order of the White Feather

We will never be silent again.

Thought Catalog

Thought Catalog is a digital youth culture magazine dedicated to your stories and ideas.


"Gay And Straight People" - an unofficial community at Pacific Union College providing supportive conversations about issues facing LGBTQ students.


Smart and surprising


The ultimate guide for independent travellers seeking inspiration, advice and adventures beyond their wildest dreams


Memoir style writing from a rainy island in Alaska.

Blogger's World!

Where creativity meets passion!


a journal of innovative arts

Hello Hygge

Finding hygge everywhere

Hey Loons

Travel | Musings | Memoirs

Un voyage intérieur grâce à l'écriture

An inner journey through writing / Un viaggio interiore attraverso la scrittura

Song of the Lark

Music, melodies, mutterings

Valerie Leroy Photography

Explore Everything


A daily selection of the best content published on WordPress, collected for you by humans who love to read.

Expedition Overlanding Nomadic Adventures

“My passion for travel, writing, backpacking, and photography starts here.”

The Daily Post

The Art and Craft of Blogging

It's All in Finding the Right Words

The Eternal Search to Find One's Self: Flash Fiction and Beyond

lifelessons - a blog by Judy Dykstra-Brown

Reflections on Life through poetry, essays and photos


Arpita Pramanick ~ Author & Blogger

The Cat Chronicles

Welcome to the Feline World of Nera, Tabby and Fluffy

Estelea's Blog

French proud Mum and wife, restless explorer and doer freshly landed in Hanoi. One Attila in each arm, I am exploring the “kids friendly” corners of the region, while trying to keep some room for Me.

Logical Quotes

dreams from a musing life enthusiast

Barbara Pyett

Sharing thoughts via writing


Squamous Unutterable Horrific Lovely Eldritch Nameless Life


a compendium of experiences


a redhead's adventures in food photography & styling

What I Pic

Photography, music, and everything else.


Reflections on Leading & Learning

The Seekers' Portal

Lifelong Learning + Personal Growth = Legacy

%d bloggers like this: