getting back into the swing of things after traveling across the country and back again. fleeting moments and many good memories leftover after such a long time away from home. even though it was 13 days it seemed longer especially as a homebody (who also loves to see new places).

segue…i like to think of impressions as something that is memorable and makes a difference in somebody’s life. and it really destroys the idea that we might be independent from the consequences our actions have on our surroundings and on other people. everything we do matters. everything.

i imagine an impression, if it was a tangible object, as a soft footprint, very tenuous and easily ignored, very fragile. and then sometimes it’s as heavy as lead. i always think of this need to please instilled in me at such a young age of “making a good impression on people” and “keeping up appearances” and i still fight against that and will continue to fight against that my whole life. we don’t exist for others and yet we are all interdependent. i guess i want to give an impression without the pressure of what that impression should or should not be.

still dancing around the real issue i can’t quite pinpoint…

is there a difference between the type of impressions women must give vs. men? are women more or less concerned about appearance when giving an impression than men are? i do know that smiling always helps me when i’m meeting a new person. i tend to resist the notion that women, in general, but anyone owes another person a certain appearance when interacting with them. it is true that we judge each other on how we look, what we’re wearing, smell, hairstyle, etc. but i don’t think that’s the best way of getting to know anyone. looks are just the creme brulee shell atop the gooey insides. and people’s insides are a universe.

and i want to know that universe. i think.