puncture

Puncture

oy, been wondering if i’ll feel the same about life at 40 that i do right now. and maybe in some ways i do want to feel the same way, of possibilities on the horizon of days filled with opportunities to try new things and meet different people with interesting ideas. i think what’s so hard right now is the upheaval, the change, the moving, the unknowing, but that’s also what makes things so interesting because i could choose to do a lot of different things. i could choose to go on a lot of different paths. and honestly, you can do that at any time in your life, it just feels harder when your stuck in that loop of working to pay for bills you have because you decided to move for a job where there are more bills to pay or where the rent is higher and you need a car to get to and from work. so you work harder and have less time to think about where your life is headed and where you want it to be heading because you’re working all this OT to pay for the bills to live semi close to where you work. it’s very circular. it’s hard to puncture that bubble of thinking that all work is is a bill payer. i wonder what i would actually do with my life if i did not have bills to pay?

i’ve been asking myself this question a lot lately. i wonder if other people ask this question too. it’s a pretty hard question to ask i think because it forces me to confront my choices and take some responsibility for the direction of my life. and it forces me to recognize what i’ve chosen, sometimes by default/unintentionally, what my priorities have been based on how i’ve been living my life. it forces me to recognize where i’ve been in denial and what i can do moving forward. sometimes this question is a good motivator and sometimes i just end up staying in bed for the rest of the day, daydreaming.

you never know what you’re gonna find when you puncture the bubbles of comfort you’ve created for yourself. you never know what’s gonna come spewing out.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “puncture

Add yours

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a website or blog at WordPress.com

Up ↑

The Reluctant Retiree

Stories from Garrulous Gwendoline - a baby boomer surviving retirement

The Mad Woman in the Attic

stories of a serial expat and solo traveller

Dreaming. Living. Loving.

"Yes: I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.” - Oscar Wilde

The DAWN Method

A Breakthrough in Dementia Care

The Order of the White Feather

We will never be silent again.

Thought Catalog

Thought Catalog is a digital youth culture magazine dedicated to your stories and ideas.

GASP@PUC

"Gay And Straight People" - an unofficial community at Pacific Union College providing supportive conversations about issues facing LGBTQ students.

Broadside

Smart and surprising

TRAVELLING THE WORLD SOLO

The ultimate guide for independent travellers seeking inspiration, advice and adventures beyond their wildest dreams

bethlovesblue

Memoir style writing from a rainy island in Alaska.

Blogger's World!

Where creativity meets passion!

THE AIRGONAUT

a journal of innovative arts

Hello Hygge

Finding hygge everywhere

Hey Loons

Travel | Musings | Memoirs

Un voyage intérieur grâce à l'écriture

An inner journey through writing / Un viaggio interiore attraverso la scrittura

Song of the Lark

Music, melodies, mutterings

Valerie Leroy Photography

Explore Everything

Discover

A daily selection of the best content published on WordPress, collected for you by humans who love to read.

Expedition Overlanding Nomadic Adventures

“My passion for travel, writing, backpacking, and photography starts here.”

The Daily Post

The Art and Craft of Blogging

It's All in Finding the Right Words

The Eternal Search to Find One's Self: Flash Fiction and Beyond

lifelessons - a blog by Judy Dykstra-Brown

Reflections on Life through poetry, essays and photos

Scribbles@Arpita

Arpita Pramanick ~ Author & Blogger

The Cat Chronicles

Welcome to the Feline World of Nera, Tabby and Fluffy

Estelea's Blog

French proud Mum and wife, restless explorer and doer freshly landed in Hanoi. One Attila in each arm, I am exploring the “kids friendly” corners of the region, while trying to keep some room for Me.

Logical Quotes

dreams from a musing life enthusiast

Barbara Pyett

Sharing thoughts via writing

42

Squamous Unutterable Horrific Lovely Eldritch Nameless Life

TRAVELLING SWALLOW

a compendium of experiences

ginger-snapped

a redhead's adventures in food photography & styling

What I Pic

Photography, music, and everything else.

inspireconnections

Reflections on Leading & Learning

The Seekers' Portal

Lifelong Learning + Personal Growth = Legacy

%d bloggers like this: