memorize the feeling of empty scraping, of earnestness, of loss, of losing something actively. the chill, the excitement of hair being swept by hollow wind, screaming up from the distance below as you lean in.
memorize the frenzy of yes and no and how far to go. of what it feels like when someone leaves hot hand marks and fingerprints that burn through to the other side like molten metal, refined and refined, pressed through again and again.
memorize the sound of crickets humming, in sharp, green blades of grass, nestled softly between warm particles of dirt but then they go and let everyone know where they are!
memorize the shoulder shrugs and easy laughter of getting comfortable in the face of the not-knowing that is constantly churning out new surprises, like new friends, life is like a bubbling, roaring river that i can relax into or be forced along it.
memorize the buoyant, energy of coffee in mornings lying in pillow beds, too heavy heads. is this bliss? to know i can’t move and be okay with that.
memorize the rubber smell of tires meeting asphalt, did i stop in time? sheer relief, sweat drenched relief, shaky, cold hands, all energy swiftly sent to the core relief. almost need new underwear relief. and now we can laugh about it, but not really relief.