at the risk of sounding like a pretentious one i was literally just having a conversation about this topic…conversation. hmmm. and when i look for a way to relax now i find myself seeking opportunities to read, write and talk with kindred spirits. and i’m really glad i’m discovering that now rather than later. i think i had it in me this whole time but you know how it goes when you want to reach out to people but something holds you back. probably all boils down to the fear of rejection.

i’ve been filling books with thoughts. some don’t make much sense anymore. also, my hand is getting really tired because i’ve been writing it down with pen and paper. and i don’t know what carpal tunnel feels like but i do know that my ideas flow faster than the ability of my arm and hand to write them down. which is frustrating but at the same time i like having those old school talks with me and an empty notebook. there’s something divine about that.

that and oranges. oranges in winter are a beautiful combination of nostalgia and sparking energy. that and just the color orange seems to make more sense on white, frosted days. i could write a monologue on oranges. the smell alone…be still my heart. LOL!

and i keep having these conversations with myself that i need to let relax a little bit and air out. it’s funny how i can work myself into a frenzy thinking things that haven’t even happened and then suddenly be mad at the person i was just thinking about. or now weirdly attracted to them. my mind is a battlefield. and i haven’t gotten out alive. or maybe i have. anyhow the moral of the story, don’t think too hard because brain cells. and that is all.


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