this is a syrupy word. often misused, forced to take the place of pity when it’s so much bigger than someone feeling sorry for you. who wants to be made to feel sorry for someone? why do we stuff words into sizes we can understand, and then miss the entire point?

i don’t like this word because it reminds me of simpering platitudes, false and chirpy, faked perkiness and feigned sorrow at someone else’s misfortune. it’s easier to talk about than to work with someone who’s suffering and ameliorate their situation together. but sympathizing makes us feel like we’re doing something without actually needing to do something to help. it lets us off whatever hook we’ve put ourselves on only to find we just end up on another one.

hmm-i’m pretty salty today. i guess i get annoyed when i’m shown concern but not actually collaborated with to help find a way out of the problem i’m in. it seem too often that when we share what we’re going through with other people they’re too quick to suggest a solution and then expect the conversation to move on to other topics. they think the problem is solved and so their involvement, their effort ends there without even getting started on an actual working solution.

it’s easy to become so busy in my own life i see myself doing this all the time. i’ll sympathize but then choose not to engage in a workable solution. i don’t always partner with the person going through the struggle. i selfishly suggest what i would do and then get annoyed when they’re still talking about this old thing again. and i have to laugh because it’s just so ineffective and yet i keep doing it. i have to think the world would be a much different place to live if we took responsibility for partnering with people and working together towards solutions to what people are actually struggling with. instead, we just offer up platitudes and then go have lunch. what is wrong with us?

it’s probably not that simple, but then again i often use that as an excuse because actually it really is as simple as that. and the reason that i don’t engage as often as i would like to is out of fear. it’s not complicated. but here i am talking about it and yet. what-what am i going to do about it? sympathize or partner with people?


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