theory

Theory it's getting to be a habit with me now. i think that my whole life is a theory of "will this actually work?" i keep testing it everyday. every time i get out of bed, pushing the outer limits of how many more times can i do the same thing over again? there goes... Continue Reading →

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elegance

Elegance perfect, so i guess we're doing the whole things that i'm the opposite of. elegance, i think of this word as i ruthlessly shove mound-fulls of chocolate cake into my mouth. and i really don't apologize for that imagery. i love cake and i love eating things. soooo what am i gonna do? hmmm-i... Continue Reading →

jolly

Jolly filed under words i want to punch in the face. just know i did not wake up this salty i actually had a wonderful day planned for myself of going to go write and study and that was foiled by humanity, moving en masse to the place i was hoping to find some solitude... Continue Reading →

lullabies

i guess before i go to sleep tonight, which for me means laying here for another four to five hours, hopefully only that long before careening off a steep cliff into slumberland, i wanted to reconnect with the day. i got up so early...9:50am today. i was laughing out loud because i found this meme... Continue Reading →

degree

Degree oh man this word is beautiful. everything is measured in degrees and yet we cannot find the cutoffs, the exact moment when something becomes something else. it's all over the place, when life becomes death...when death becomes life. we can't cut deep enough to see the exactitude of the moment of transformation. it still... Continue Reading →

varnish

Varnish sometimes i feel like my life is trying to kill me. and not slowly either, it's like this painful skinning, where little strips are slowly cut and peeled off just to see what i'll do to deal with it next. tho i do have a flair for the dramatic soooooo there's that... varnish is... Continue Reading →

gorge

Gorge i guess i was picturing this deep ravine, gouged out and empty, scraped clean. and that imagery really appealed to me for some reason. whatever that says about me but it is very relatable to picture something so worn through and clean it doesn't have a history anymore. that it's just seen so much... Continue Reading →

meanwhile

i've been crocheting slippers to pass the time. some things pass more easily than others i suppose. i've been trying to find my way out of this and it still comes full circle to the original issue that i have to deal with, and that is my value and my personhood. which sounds like a... Continue Reading →

saintly

Saintly words i am the opposite of... and i think it's because i like to have fun. whenever i picture what is saintly i just see stained glass and people with clasped hands, eyes peering upward, maybe squinting asking "can you hear me now?". and maybe there's a few swords in rocks in the background... Continue Reading →

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